Timbits and Timezones
by HalcyonHermit
Summary: Poor Matthew, all he wanted was just a good night sleep with Kumajuvia? Kumajeeves? Well anyway he just wanted to sleep with his pet polar bear cuddled at his side. Unfortunately other people seem to have an agenda that conflict with his own, but fortunately enough some good still comes from his rude awakening.


Hetalia: Axis Powers is entirely the creation and work of Hidekaz Himaruya.

Knocking was what normal people did, a quick 'Shave and a Hair Cut' if they had it in them, maybe then ring the bell if there was no answer. Being the light sleeper he was, Mattie woke up at the sound of a car in his drive (which wasn't exactly hard, truth be told the car was a _former_ Military Hummer and by _former_ likely meant it was missing from a military base). Only one person he knew _knocked_ with a police battering ram, the one person he just couldn't get mad at (openly, that's what politicians were for).

"Mattie I gotta talk to you!"

Sure enough Alfred had paid him a surprise visit, and when America paid most people (Nations) a surprise visit they called it a Police Action. Everyone except Canada, usually those surprise visits were Trade Negotiations or an apology due for forgetting him again. Racking his mind and trying to think if either cases were likely, a shiver ran down his spine wondering if all the commemorations and memorials as of late for the War of 1812 had his brother wanting to get into the swing of things. He was known to re-enact his own Civil War a lot...oh dear.

"Mattie!"

Staring at his door as it swung open (falling was sort of swinging, it was just pretty much there for decoration anyway so the battering ram made short work of it), Alfred had the ram in one hand and...Timmy's in the other? Coffee was good, he needed his morning cup, and were those...they were, he had Timbits with him too. Most screwed up breakfast in bed ever, yes, but that was his brother for you.

"Mattie!"

"Who?"

Kumajiro was the heavy sleeper of the household, but if there was one thing that got him out of bed it was the smell of coffee (not that he drank it, but it was one of those Pavlovian things that meant donuts or pancakes). Savouring his first sip and following it up with a honey dip, Matthew threw one of the chocolates to Kuma who snatched it greedily.

"Mattie?" Al asked at the edge of the beside.

If there was one thing his brother knew, it was when to expect a hockey brawl. Half the crowd would be crying foul for whichever team had been wronged while the other roared in triumph, and then the gear would be thrown to the ice right along with the gloves coming off. There would be only seconds until the first punch was thrown and by that time both teams would be joining on in as the ref's tried to reign it all in. Part of the Secret History of the World told of a therapist who one session between the brothers had floated the idea for the NHL and the world owed a lot of peace to that person.

"I'll just let you finish your coffee bro."

Three sips in and Matthew noticed the time, it was a quarter past one (in the morning) where he had been thinking it was instead maybe sometime after five. That meant he had just two hours of sleep under his belt. Tired Mattie was grumpy Mattie, grumpy Mattie had a lot of wilderness to channel full of dark forests, tundra and a lot of large fauna with equally large claws and teeth. Grumpy Mattie played Hockey with the Nordics and a lot of what had once been 'One with Mother Russia' during the Lock Outs.

That's what Extra Larges were for, Alfred's time spent trying to get some Peace in the Middle East hadn't been for nothing. Al could be surprisingly diplomatic when he wanted, already the two doors were forgotten as the java worked its way into his system.

"I'm in deep shit Mattie." Al started.

"When aren't you?" Matthew asked.

Matthew knew all about the deep shit his brother got into, he took a lot of beatings for it, so many people mistaking him for his brother. That was old news.

"Was that a little bit of assertiveness I saw there?" Al was grinning, taking the liberty for a peek in the night stand to see what sort of stuff was in there.

"Sorry." Matthew apologised in a knee jerk way, a hard slap to his shoulder jostling him as his brother laughed.

"Anyway, yeah, deep shit Mattie. I need your help." Al resumed the conversation, snatching up a self help book he'd found in the drawer for a quick browse.

"You need a favour?" Matthew asked, just to get everything out in the open.

"I need a favour." Alfred said after a drawn out pause.

"What's the favour..." Matthew asked, having learned a long time ago never to outright answer yes to the question 'Can ya do me a favour' until he knew what he was in for.

"I need you to go on a date..."

"You want me to go on a date?"

"As me..."

"As you?"

"With Belarus..."

"With Belarus!?"

"Who?"

Both brothers looked down to Kumajiro who was staring at them with a chocolate stained muzzle and indifference in his eyes now that all the Timbits were gone. It served as just enough of a distraction for Alfred to snatch away the rest of his brother's extra large coffee which was taken black, (read - still very hot) and still plenty full (read - improvised weapon).

"Why!?" Matthew shrieked.

"Because I don't want to go on a date with Belarus, that's why."

"I mean why are you even, how are you even...a date...her...how...!?

"Oh, that. Well, it was part of a deal I had with Ivan, he wanted me to open up 'Diplomatic Relations' with his sister." Al explained, shrugging it off as perfectly reasonable.

"I'm already in Diplomatic Relations with his sister!" Matthew bellowed.

"Really?" Al asked utterly perplexed, Mattie face palming at how dense his brother could be when it came to his Self Interest.

"You forgot he had two sisters, didn't you?"

"So that's a no?" Al asked.

"Goodbye Alfred."

Showing his brother out and sitting out on his front porch, the Hummer was nothing more than tail lights off on the horizon that soon enough vanished. The stars were out in all their glory and the swath of the Milky Way was a glorious sight to behold. The cacophony of the night returned after the tuning tries of a few crickets and croaks of frogs. Sipping his coffee and thinking of those Diplomatic Relations again, Matthew found his cell in his robe and checked the time again.

"Should already be well into the morning for her now..." Thumbing away at the number that he knew by heart, it rang once, twice, then thrice...

"Matej?"

"Morning Katy..."

He could just imagine the smile that came with sublime silence, her light breath just barely heard over the phone. Swaying back and forth in the porch swing, Matthew had to admit at least something good had come out of his rude awakening.


End file.
